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Relationship: Simple Ways To Improve Conflict Resolution In Your Relationship

By KOKO TV

Loving your partner so much doesn’t mean you will always see eye to eye. Even if you generally share the same believes in most things, there will always come a time were your opinions won’t match. When situations like this happen is when we really know if we have conflict resolution skills required in every relationship. Resolution in relationship doesn’t mean you always have to back down so your partner can have their way and peace will reign, it also means you learn to effectively communicate your thoughts and feelings in a way that you show you also understand them as well. Being able to ‘fight’ productively often brings a couple closer and strengthens their relationship; here are five ways to do this
Actively Listen: Repeat back to your partner what you think you’ve heard him or her say, and ask clarifying questions. This is important even when you think your partner is being irrational. You don’t have to agree with your partner’s point of view to take their feelings seriously. People often assume they know what someone has said, but they have actually misunderstood in a vital way. 
Be Authentic: If you don’t understand what your partner is saying, don’t pretend you do; ask for more explanation. And if you can’t apologize honestly, don’t. Placating someone to end conflict can make the other person feel manipulated and dismissed. Try to let go of a need to be the “good one” in the relationship and stay with the goals of closeness and understanding. If you’re angry, it’s OK to show that. It’s a myth that the healthiest arguments are always calm and contained – that’s just not a realistic expectation in an intimate relationship.

Set Reasonable Boundaries: If things get out of hand, it’s important that both partners know that they can set limits that will be respected. This safety is key to healthy fighting. It’s essential that couples learn to recognise when an argument is too heated and about to get out of hand so they can take a breather. What’s important is to come back to the issue at a later point.
Physical Gestures Matter: Even if things can’t be resolved immediately, it’s important for your partner to know that you still care. Sometimes it’s hard to say “I love you” when you feel hurt and angry. A physical gesture can be reassuring at a moment when your partner is feeling anxious and distant. However, it’s important to respect the other person’s signals and not push too far for physical closeness when they may not feel receptive.
Be Patient: It takes time to work through core conflicts in relationships. We all have baggage that stays with us. Remember that conflicts lessen in intensity over time, leading to greater mutual understanding.
Credit: Getty

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