Aunty Aurora: If He Can’t Afford To Marry Me, Can He Afford To Be A Father?


Dear Aunty Aurora,
I have been in a relationship for 6years now, but recently my fiancé told me that we have to put our wedding on hold because he is financially not capable at the moment, but he would love if we can have a baby now. He said he wants me to get pregnant and we can have  the introduction first then the wedding later when we have more funds.

I’m very confused about what to do because I have never imagined myself having a baby outside wedlock.  Please what should I do? Give in to his consent or stand on my ground?. Please your advice should come with reasons. You will really save me.
Cecilia, Abuja.
Dear Cecilia,
Although there are several people who lively happily with partners they are not married to, your case is a little bit different because asides the fact that you morally want to do what is right for your child, that lifestyle may not necessarily suit you. On the other hand, I think the situation is either that your partner is misplacing priorities here or he has no idea how much it costs to raise a child these days. Bringing a child into the world dictates that you will be willing and capable of taking care of it and provide all that the child needs to grow up properly, that also includes a stable family system.He may be willing to care for you and your baby but he also needs to have the means and finance to do so.I will advice you stand your ground and try to convince your fiancé against adding a baby to the equation because, trust me dear, if he can’t afford to wed you, he won’t be able to afford taking care of you and your innocent child. What you both need to do is to sit down and map out a plan that will help you boost your finances. I’m not sure if you have a job at the moment, but you will be able to put in your quota as well and make your dream of getting married come through when you are financially independent.
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