Dear Aunty Aurora,
My husband and I got married about a year ago and we have been deliriously happy planning our lives together. We do everything together and would do almost anything to make each other happy. Which is why it wasn’t difficult for me to give my consent when he ask me if his younger brother could come and stay with us till he gets a job. I didn’t see anything wrong in allowing my brother-in-law live with us because I see him as my brother also and we were around the same age. My trials began some months back when I started noticing that my husband’s brother would keep staring at me for no apparent reason. At other times he would intentionally brush his fingers against mine when I try handing him something or even pay unnecessary compliments about my looks. I thought my imagination was playing tricks on me and didn’t say anything to my husband about it. I realised my mistake some days later after my husband left on a business trip. I was in our bedroom dressing up to leave for work when my brother-in-law barged into the room without knocking, he smiled sheepishly at me, said sorry then walked out.I was too stunned to respond and only reached for the nearest covering I could get. Day after day since my husband’s departure, his brother has made staying in my own home unbearable for me that now I don’t even look forward to going home after a long day at work. I was prompted to write this letter after he tried opening the bathroom door while I was bathing but fortunately I locked the door out of fear prior to that. I don’t want to put enmity between my husband and his brother because they are very close but if I don’t talk to someone soon, I’m afraid something worse will happen and affect my marriage. Please what do I do?
Michelle.A, Lagos. Nigeria
Thank you for sending in your letter, its a good thing you are asking for help now before things get out of hand. Your mistake though was not talking to your husband when your instincts were clearly sending you warning signals. You put yourself and your marriage in danger by keeping something so important to yourself. I understand your fears about this affecting the relationship between your husband and his brother but it doesn’t end there dear, both your families will have to know about it too and that randy young man needs to be thought a lesson. Thank God you said your families get along, so that should make things easier. My advice is that you speak with your husband about it before he even comes home and maybe go and stay with your parents till he comes back. You don’t have to tell them what is going on yet depending on if you and your husband don’t mind, just say you miss them and wanted to come over till your husband gets back.
I wish you all the best in your marriage.